8 Things Every Party Guest Should Know
Before you RSVP, read this.
It’s party season, and hopefully you're the gracious, merry-making guest every host wants in attendance. To be absolutely certain, our editors tackled the most-asked party-related questions, took inspiration from etiquette expert Emily Post, and found what it takes to be a coveted guest before, during, and after every celebration.
"Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use. "
Emily Post
Before
What’s the best way to RSVP? When you’re invited to a party, quick thinking is appreciated from the start. Whether the invitation comes via snail mail, email, or even text, check your schedule and make it a priority to communicate your availability to your host as soon as possible. If you may have a conflict and the RSVP date is looming, say that you’d love to attend, but need a few more days before confirming. Bottom line: No one should have to hunt you down.
How late is fashionably-late? After a party starts, there’s 15-to-20 minute window of time when arriving late is acceptable. If you’re planning to be much later, especially to a smaller gathering, send a quick text so your host knows you’re on the way.
Should I bring flowers? Unless they’re already arranged in a vase, flowers require immediate attention that your host might not be able to spare, but that doesn’t mean you should arrive empty handed. Offer to contribute to the party in advance, and if your host insists otherwise, come with wine or a simple gift, like fancy new bar tools or a set of bright dishtowels.
During
Should I help at the bar? Or in the kitchen? Your host should offer drinks or point you in the right direction, so always ask before helping yourself at the bar cart. If it looks like the party is in need of a mixologist, offer to make cocktails, but don't press the issue. The same goes for lending a hand where food-prep is concerned—offer, but let your host decide when help is needed.
Do I have to sing karaoke? In a word, yes. But feel free to pass the mic on a solo act if you're no Beyoncé. The same rule applies for the vacation photo slideshow and the spontaneous round of charades. Make it a point to get involved and participate.
Can I post this awesome picture on Instagram? When it comes to social media, follow the host’s lead. If the party is the #besteventof2016, post away, but it’s possible that the affair was meant to be more low key. When in doubt, ask before posting to social media.
After
Can I make an Irish exit? If it’s a large party and your round of farewells will interrupt the festivities, it’s fine to say a few quick goodbyes and slip out. Consider texting your host later to let them know you're home and had a wonderful time.
Do I have to send a thank you note? These days, a formal thank you note is appreciated, but not required. Most hosts agree that a thoughtful post-party text or email is fitting, and you'll get bonus points for anything handwritten. Express gratitude and comment on the details that took careful preparation, like the signature cocktail or photo booth. A host will never tire of praise.
